How many of you have ever fallen in love? Or thought you had?
....I guessed everyone.
When can you tell if love is real or fake and make-belief? Will there ever be a way of telling?
YES.
Lets think about love logically.
You meet someone, you start meeting up, you sleep together, you make it 'facebook official' and then that's it. But there is always more to the story.
You meet the person, and the first thought in your mind is whether they are cute or not. If they are you make scenarios in your head of how your relationship will be. You start to speak on a daily basis, you make sure that you're always online or in public where they will see you, they speak or you speak, and the conversation is sparked. You decide to meet up, go to the cinema or go for a coffee and a walk around the local shopping hot spot. You have a few awkward moments but the conversation soon begins to flow, you get to find out what they find amusing and the things they like. After the first meet you part ways.
You're thinking how amazing it was and then thinking what they thought of the day. Soon you meet up a second time, then a third then a fourth and eventually you feel as if you're in a real relationship even though neither of you have asked the daunting question.
You finally sleep together, you think it's going to be fireworks shooting out and romance filling the air. Instead it's awkward, you don't know what to do with yourself of the other person, you don't know your rhythm. After you've slept together, a few dates later the relationship question finally gets asked and answered with a hasty yet almost subtle 'yes'.
The relationship is then 'facebook official'. And you suddenly think everything is sorted.
But is it?
A few months into the relationships arguments start to appear, the cracks start to show and you're soon accusing each other of all sorts. Cheating, lying, disrespecting, you name it, it'll happen.
Then what?
The accusations get too much and you decide to become those things, you start to cheat, a cheeky kiss here and there, a fumble in the corner of a club and then it all leads to that....sex.
You decide not to tell your partner, they decide to do the same to you and the vicious circle forms. You feel guilty so decide to accuse your partner of cheating to try and get the truth out to see if they have cheated on you...They never admit it so in the end you do. They then decide to admit it.
Through all of this you're texting each other saying how much you love them. You still go on dates and pretend everything is fine, you pretend that none of the arguments happened, you act like a loved up couple, laughing, holding hands and kissing.
It's romantic right?.......Wrong!
It is far from romantic.
So is that true love? Maybe.
This situation is similar to a relationship I had, minus the two of you cheating and minus the admitting.
But when we broke up I realised how much I loved him, and realised that no matter how badly we treated each other, I'd always love him.
They say that if you really love someone it'll take you at least 17 months to get over them, and push those feelings of love down below the surface, never to be thought of again.
If this is the case then I still have 10 months left and I don't think I can handle that. I now have a new boyfriend, yet when I sleep at night I still have dreams about my ex. Why? Because the love I felt for him was real, however whilst I'm thinking of him he's made his bed and is lying in it with his new girlfriend. This shows he never loved me, he's long past loving me, it was never felt by him.
And that hurts to even think about let alone write/say it.
I don't want to pine over my ex I really don't, but I do, every day.
You can suppress the feelings but they'll never leave you alone, they'll always be at the back fighting through everything else to get back to the front and when they finally do get back to the front you go through the same again.
That's real love.
The fake love is when you're with somebody but constantly cheat on them. When your partner is clearly not enough for you and the attention they give to you isn't enough so you go scouting somewhere else for it. You go out on a night out and end up sleeping with anyone that gives you a bit of attention.
Fake love is when it's forced. Ever forced yourself to attempt to love somebody? I'm sure you have, that's how most of my relationships have started.
There's a fine line between real love and fake love, you just have to be open minded enough to see it. and if you don't see it then you're more than likely between the two. Real and fake.
So the next time you look at your partner think to yourself, what do you like about them?
If you can answer that question, you're not in love.
To love someone you must accept them for who they are and love them with all of their good and bad points. You will always want to be there for and with them and you'll never want to see them walk away - even just to go home. You'll want to be around them every second of the day....
....If that isn't how you feel, when you walk away from each other - Don't go back.
Friday 18 January 2013
Sunday 13 January 2013
Bullies or broken?
I've been deciding over the last few months about what I should make this blog about and how I can use it to its full potential. After many months of thinking and researching I've decided that instead of writing about fashion or documenting every move of a celebrity, I'm going to use this blog as a way of expressing my opinions and feelings about issues that arise day-to-day.
So this first real blog is about bullies and coming to a conclusion about why bullies do what they do and whether they do it for fun, because they're cruel, because it's the "fashion" within a young society or because they are in fact, broken.
When I was in school I used to remember how my sister and myself were bullied, even from a very young age, as young as six in fact.
My sister used to get bullied because of her appearance, we both did, but the bullying she received was much more severe than mine. The girls in her year used to call her every name under the sun, whether it was about her teeth (which used to stick out and look bigger than others) or about her ears (which used to poke out of her hair), no matter what they chose to bully her about, they used every name possible to bully her with. When I think back to that I think of how cruel it was. They used to push her to the floor, hold her arms and legs own, put mud and sticks in her hair, throw stones at her and put mud and grass in her mouth to the point they would almost suffocate her. Why would children as young as six do that to a person? I know for a fact who those people are however I won't name and shame because I'm not that type of person, and quite frankly I don't want to be sued for slandering a person over the internet. But I knew the people's background, I knew who their parents were and how they were treated. Where I grew up it was very easy to know how children were treating by their family because everybody spoke to everyone. It was a small town so family life and secrets didn't stay low key for long.
So yes, the children who bullied her were the eldest out of all of their siblings, and they were treated like the prince and princesses of their families, so that doesn't explain why they would bully somebody. If they got everything they wanted then they didn't need to seek attention from acting in a vile manner. However, they still bullied. So what was the underlying cause of that?
When I was in school, mainly from year seven to year eleven I was bullied a lot. I'm not the prettiest girl, I wasn't out of my classmates either and I certainly weren't the thinnest. I was always bullied for being "fat", for not having a perfectly skinny body and for not being able to see my bones. This made me feel horrible. The people who bullied me I have now come to realise were the ones who were the most unhappy about their own appearance. When I was in school they seemed to take bullying as a trend, that because one person did it you had to do it to ensure that you were accepted into their social 'clan'. But now when I look back I realise it was so much more, because the people that bullied me have now modified their body with steroids, fad diets and medical facilities to help them gain the bodies they wanted back in school. For example, one girl who bullied me on a daily basis, I have now found out was anorexic through the last few years of school. I have only known about this recently but it now makes sense to me and has helped me understand why she bullied me for being "fat", because she thought she was, however this information still doesn't mean it was necessary to make someone else feel rubbish about themselves.
Another girl in school used to call me all the names she could that means "fat" and she used to say that my boobs didn't count because they were "fatty" and not real boobs. In the past year she has had a boob job. This explains why she bullied me but again it doesn't mean she had the right to bully me and others.
So the reason those people bullied me were because they felt so awful about themselves they had to make others feel bad to help them feel good. And I guess for them it worked but for the person they bullied it didn't. It made them feel self conscious with no confidence in their self at all and at one point did make them want to commit suicide. Yes, I mean me when I refer to the person as "them". After being bullied for more than five years it begins to take its toll and eventually I didn't know what to do. So I tried to commit suicide. A lot of times in fact.
By these two stories alone you can see that most bullies are broken. That there is an underlying cause for their behaviour which is mainly personal based. Their personal lives have an effect on their social lives.
But in recent years it's becoming a trend in the young society. If you aren't a bully you aren't popular. If you don't make somebody feel worthless then you may as well be worthless. There is no common ground anymore. Nobody takes into consideration how they are making somebody feel, and it's these people that end up leading other people's lives to an early grave. Suicide rates have certainly risen in the past few years, and the underlying cause of these suicides is bullying. The world needs to remember that bullying isn't something to be proud of and it isn't something to feel clever about. Bullying leads to suicides, it leads to a broken person, it leads to the person being bullied to feel so rubbish about themselves that they lock themselves away and hide from the world.
Granted some people get over bullying. For example Lady Gaga. She was bullied through her child hood and she is open about it. She has explained how it made her feel when she was called a "freak" or "abnormal" but look at her now. She's taken the world by storm. created a name for herself, used her "freakiness" to gain popularity and she has set up a foundation to help stop bullying for good! She's using all the power she has in herself to stop others feeling how she did and to me she is an inspiration for that!
Recently I believe the majority of people have seen the two open letters between Gaga and Sharon Osborne. Gaga clearly wanted her letter to be an open one because she wanted the world to see that she was being genuine and sincere about her apology for what her 'little monsters' have been saying about Kelly. However Sharon's retaliation was not only inappropriate but also unsettling as it showed her to be a bully. The way she victimised her daughter Kelly and slandered the good work Gaga has been doing with the Born This Way Foundation doesn't show her to be professional or in any way, shape or form a role model for the younger society.
Sharon didn't want Gaga's 'little monsters' to bully her daughter Kelly or to call her names or slander her appearance but what does Kelly expect when all she does on E! is bully other celebrities? If she is going to be cruel and throw vicious comments at other celebrities then she should expect to be bullied in return. The 'little monsters' who were bullying Kelly weren't being 'little monsters' at the time, they were being fans of celebs that were being attacked by Kelly. And worse of all Kelly knows how it feels to be bullied from throughout her child, teen and adult years. She was always bullied for being plus sized and for looking the way she did. And now she has the body she wants she thinks it's okay to bully others because now she looks perfect, nobody can bully her in return.
THIS IS NOT OKAY!
You should not bully, no matter what! If you have problems with yourself DO NOT make others have a problem with them selves. If you have issues at home and need a "pick me up", DO NOT make others unhappy to match your unhappiness.
Bullying is a vicious circle. You get bullied, turn into a bully and then get bullied again and it continues in a circle on and on until finally something cracks, until someone commits suicide, or until someone goes under the knife to be this "perfect" specimen.
Sharon Osborne has proved that she is a bully even at her age. Gaga did not in any way try to belittle Kelly or bully Kelly, however Sharon outburst in her letter about Gaga's fashion choices and her views and opinions.
And after reading both letters it is easy to see that there is a simple equation..
Sharon = BULLY
Gaga = VISIONARY
Would you rather be a bully?
Would you rather make somebody else's life miserable because of some underlying problems that you have?
Would you like to live with the guilt of bullying somebody so much that they commit suicide?
I hope not! Because this is not the type of world we want to live in. In my opinion bullying should be illegal and those who bully should be prosecuted. Bullying can lead to all sorts of problems for one's future.
DO NOT BULLY! is the main message of this blog.
But it has made it clear to all that a bully is just another broken person, just like you.
My advice?
If you are being bullied then go and speak to somebody about it, a teacher, a parent, or a peer. Do not let the bullies get away with it and together we can fight this!
Join the BORN THIS WAY FOUNDATION run by Gaga and her mother Cynthia! Unite as one to bring bullying to a complete halt.
DO NOT LET THOSE BULLIES GET AWAY WITH RUINING AN INNOCENT PERSON'S LIFE!
IT IS NOT FAIR ON THESE PEOPLE.
Do not let someone commit suicide by letting bullies get away with it because they will not feel guilty if somebody kills themselves because of bullies. They will not care how they make a person feel.
Bullies are BROKEN! Bullies are HURT! Bullies are SELFISH!
So this first real blog is about bullies and coming to a conclusion about why bullies do what they do and whether they do it for fun, because they're cruel, because it's the "fashion" within a young society or because they are in fact, broken.
When I was in school I used to remember how my sister and myself were bullied, even from a very young age, as young as six in fact.
My sister used to get bullied because of her appearance, we both did, but the bullying she received was much more severe than mine. The girls in her year used to call her every name under the sun, whether it was about her teeth (which used to stick out and look bigger than others) or about her ears (which used to poke out of her hair), no matter what they chose to bully her about, they used every name possible to bully her with. When I think back to that I think of how cruel it was. They used to push her to the floor, hold her arms and legs own, put mud and sticks in her hair, throw stones at her and put mud and grass in her mouth to the point they would almost suffocate her. Why would children as young as six do that to a person? I know for a fact who those people are however I won't name and shame because I'm not that type of person, and quite frankly I don't want to be sued for slandering a person over the internet. But I knew the people's background, I knew who their parents were and how they were treated. Where I grew up it was very easy to know how children were treating by their family because everybody spoke to everyone. It was a small town so family life and secrets didn't stay low key for long.
So yes, the children who bullied her were the eldest out of all of their siblings, and they were treated like the prince and princesses of their families, so that doesn't explain why they would bully somebody. If they got everything they wanted then they didn't need to seek attention from acting in a vile manner. However, they still bullied. So what was the underlying cause of that?
When I was in school, mainly from year seven to year eleven I was bullied a lot. I'm not the prettiest girl, I wasn't out of my classmates either and I certainly weren't the thinnest. I was always bullied for being "fat", for not having a perfectly skinny body and for not being able to see my bones. This made me feel horrible. The people who bullied me I have now come to realise were the ones who were the most unhappy about their own appearance. When I was in school they seemed to take bullying as a trend, that because one person did it you had to do it to ensure that you were accepted into their social 'clan'. But now when I look back I realise it was so much more, because the people that bullied me have now modified their body with steroids, fad diets and medical facilities to help them gain the bodies they wanted back in school. For example, one girl who bullied me on a daily basis, I have now found out was anorexic through the last few years of school. I have only known about this recently but it now makes sense to me and has helped me understand why she bullied me for being "fat", because she thought she was, however this information still doesn't mean it was necessary to make someone else feel rubbish about themselves.
Another girl in school used to call me all the names she could that means "fat" and she used to say that my boobs didn't count because they were "fatty" and not real boobs. In the past year she has had a boob job. This explains why she bullied me but again it doesn't mean she had the right to bully me and others.
So the reason those people bullied me were because they felt so awful about themselves they had to make others feel bad to help them feel good. And I guess for them it worked but for the person they bullied it didn't. It made them feel self conscious with no confidence in their self at all and at one point did make them want to commit suicide. Yes, I mean me when I refer to the person as "them". After being bullied for more than five years it begins to take its toll and eventually I didn't know what to do. So I tried to commit suicide. A lot of times in fact.
By these two stories alone you can see that most bullies are broken. That there is an underlying cause for their behaviour which is mainly personal based. Their personal lives have an effect on their social lives.
But in recent years it's becoming a trend in the young society. If you aren't a bully you aren't popular. If you don't make somebody feel worthless then you may as well be worthless. There is no common ground anymore. Nobody takes into consideration how they are making somebody feel, and it's these people that end up leading other people's lives to an early grave. Suicide rates have certainly risen in the past few years, and the underlying cause of these suicides is bullying. The world needs to remember that bullying isn't something to be proud of and it isn't something to feel clever about. Bullying leads to suicides, it leads to a broken person, it leads to the person being bullied to feel so rubbish about themselves that they lock themselves away and hide from the world.
Granted some people get over bullying. For example Lady Gaga. She was bullied through her child hood and she is open about it. She has explained how it made her feel when she was called a "freak" or "abnormal" but look at her now. She's taken the world by storm. created a name for herself, used her "freakiness" to gain popularity and she has set up a foundation to help stop bullying for good! She's using all the power she has in herself to stop others feeling how she did and to me she is an inspiration for that!
Recently I believe the majority of people have seen the two open letters between Gaga and Sharon Osborne. Gaga clearly wanted her letter to be an open one because she wanted the world to see that she was being genuine and sincere about her apology for what her 'little monsters' have been saying about Kelly. However Sharon's retaliation was not only inappropriate but also unsettling as it showed her to be a bully. The way she victimised her daughter Kelly and slandered the good work Gaga has been doing with the Born This Way Foundation doesn't show her to be professional or in any way, shape or form a role model for the younger society.
Sharon didn't want Gaga's 'little monsters' to bully her daughter Kelly or to call her names or slander her appearance but what does Kelly expect when all she does on E! is bully other celebrities? If she is going to be cruel and throw vicious comments at other celebrities then she should expect to be bullied in return. The 'little monsters' who were bullying Kelly weren't being 'little monsters' at the time, they were being fans of celebs that were being attacked by Kelly. And worse of all Kelly knows how it feels to be bullied from throughout her child, teen and adult years. She was always bullied for being plus sized and for looking the way she did. And now she has the body she wants she thinks it's okay to bully others because now she looks perfect, nobody can bully her in return.
THIS IS NOT OKAY!
You should not bully, no matter what! If you have problems with yourself DO NOT make others have a problem with them selves. If you have issues at home and need a "pick me up", DO NOT make others unhappy to match your unhappiness.
Bullying is a vicious circle. You get bullied, turn into a bully and then get bullied again and it continues in a circle on and on until finally something cracks, until someone commits suicide, or until someone goes under the knife to be this "perfect" specimen.
Sharon Osborne has proved that she is a bully even at her age. Gaga did not in any way try to belittle Kelly or bully Kelly, however Sharon outburst in her letter about Gaga's fashion choices and her views and opinions.
And after reading both letters it is easy to see that there is a simple equation..
Sharon = BULLY
Gaga = VISIONARY
Would you rather be a bully?
Would you rather make somebody else's life miserable because of some underlying problems that you have?
Would you like to live with the guilt of bullying somebody so much that they commit suicide?
I hope not! Because this is not the type of world we want to live in. In my opinion bullying should be illegal and those who bully should be prosecuted. Bullying can lead to all sorts of problems for one's future.
DO NOT BULLY! is the main message of this blog.
But it has made it clear to all that a bully is just another broken person, just like you.
My advice?
If you are being bullied then go and speak to somebody about it, a teacher, a parent, or a peer. Do not let the bullies get away with it and together we can fight this!
Join the BORN THIS WAY FOUNDATION run by Gaga and her mother Cynthia! Unite as one to bring bullying to a complete halt.
DO NOT LET THOSE BULLIES GET AWAY WITH RUINING AN INNOCENT PERSON'S LIFE!
IT IS NOT FAIR ON THESE PEOPLE.
Do not let someone commit suicide by letting bullies get away with it because they will not feel guilty if somebody kills themselves because of bullies. They will not care how they make a person feel.
Bullies are BROKEN! Bullies are HURT! Bullies are SELFISH!
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