So, I've always wanted to be a wedding planner ever since I was little and I'm now on track to fulfilling that dream by being a full time student of events management. However, recently I've been watching a few episodes of The Hotel and Don't Tell The Bride and have been thinking, is a wedding really appropriate?
Something came to mind the other day when I thought, do you need to get married to have a happy relationship? I mean, I understand why religious people get married, it's part of their beliefs, but why get married just to prove you love one another?
I was reading a story the other day about a couple who have been together for over 26 years and that couple have not been married. All this time they've built up a life together, had children and created a family and are living the happy dream that most couples wish to have, they aren't married. Maybe they are so happy because they haven't gotten married and they don't have the stress of being a good husband or wife holding them down.
I mean, I understand again why most get married, some people do it to show their love for one another, you don't need to be married just to have a healthy, sustainable relationship. In fact you don't even need to get engaged.
I sometimes feel that most couples, especially young couples nowadays tend to get engaged because of programmes like The Hotel and Don't Tell The Bride, these shows are broadcasting big, white, princess weddings to the future of society and these people then decide "I want to do that". Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married one day, it's one of the things I've always wanted for myself and like all women a part of me wants to get married because of the big, white wedding, however the main lust I have for a wedding is based purely on the fact that I'm a Roman Catholic and it's a part of me that wants to keep to that religion. Now I'm not the most religious person in the world, I smoke, I drink alcohol and have sex without being married, but I do take some parts of my religion seriously, like being against abortion, believing in God and wanting to be married in the eyes of the Lord.
But others don't want that, the fantasy of being somebodies wife and having their big wedding day which is all about them are some of the only reasons why they want to get married. The do it because a wedding is the most important thing in their eyes (which is of course a load of bull), they want that one day where everyone has to look at them and think "Oh I'm so jealous". You know what? Grow up.
Marriage is to be taken seriously. You do not build a marriage up on a wedding alone, you do not get married and suddenly you're marriage is complete. No. A wedding is just the beginning and is meant to be a religious and meaningful ceremony in which it brings to people and two families together, in the eyes of the Lord. It brings two families to join as one and create a bond so that they can support and cherish their family members, new and old and to unite the couple as one. So that couple can embark on new adventures together and so that they can become a real couple, a couple blessed with a new family and a new life ahead of them.
Sunday 10 February 2013
Thursday 7 February 2013
University and relationships - a recipe for disaster?
The minority of people used to start university in a relationship, in recent years it has been proven that the majority of people will start university single. Why? because somewhere down the line people have begun to realise that university is all about having fun. Can you have fun when being tied down? Not being able to go out and have a few too many drinks with your friends and stumbling home with a kebab in one hand and a can of pepsi in the other? Well, only you can answer that.
I know a few people in university who started it whilst being in a relationship, all but two have now split up with their ex boyfriends and are hooking up with boys all over the place. It's what students are like.
Everybody wants to be able to get the chance to sleep around when in university, most people only go to university for this but some take it a step too far in some ways. I can understand why people want to sleep around, it's the feel of excitement and the thrills they get when doing so, knowing they can have a man underneath (or on top) of them any night they wish. I've never had this thrill because I don't believe in becoming a slut because "I know that I can".
But others do this within the first term of their first year, and when they have done it they decide it isn't for them. They may begin to wish that they had never broken up with their partner, or they may decide it's time to find somebody else and settle down with them, maybe somebody from university.
But is that wise?
Personally I believe that it is not. Just because you decide to dump somebody and shag everything that moves in your first term just to get it out of your system, doesn't mean you can then think "Oh I made a mistake" and try to run back to that ex. You ended it so you must get over it. But then jumping into a relationship with somebody in the same university that you've only known for a few months is a little bit pathetic too don't you think? I mean come on, you see them for three months, then you go home and don't see them for three weeks, you see them for another three months, go home for three weeks, you see them for two-three months and then spend the whole summer thinking "Oh my god the distance is just too much". But you decide to ignore it as you visit once or twice and then you're back at university together.
What happens after university? Do you move to the same town, do you move back to your individual homes like before? What do you do? You don't know do you?
Whereas take me for example. I came to university single, I know I was going to want to explore and get some thrills and therefore I stayed single for months before university. When I came. I kissed a few lads and had a fumble with some of them. But I never slept with them, because I have respect for myself. When I went home for Christmas I started dating somebody I had dated once or twice before going to university, we got along and eventually we then got into a relationship. Since being back at university we've drifted slightly, not due to any of us, simply because with the work load and the busy days it's hard for us both to text all the time or call every day. Granted we do speak a lot when we do get the chance, and we do send the odd texts here or there throughout the days and this is what makes our relationship work. This along with trust for one another.
I'm now happy in my relationship, I don't feel the need to call him every ten seconds or text him when I feel I have to. We speak when we want to or need to, we plan to see eachother, for example he's coming to visit me at university on Valentines Day and then we'll be seeing eachother when we both get home at the end of March. It's not awkward and it isn't difficult either. We get along great and even with the distance between we both hold on to the fact that we'll be in the same country in no time for three weeks. And then we'll be able to do the same thing again after Easter. Because we both know that when we get back at the end of April / beginning of May we will see eachother for a good few months before September comes around and we have to go back to university.
This is what makes us stronger. We didn't get into a relationship before we both went to/went back to university and that helped the relationship when we did decide to get together.
What I'm saying is, going to university in a relationship may seem like a great idea to begin with but it will always end the same as it does for everybody else. Give it time, go single, get the wild shinnanigans out of the way in your first term or first year and that way when you do find a relationship, whether it be with somebody from back home or from university. Just make sure though that it is the right decision.
There is nothing worse than making the wrong decision...So think wisely and cautiously.
Until my next post
Good Luck and Happy Holidays
I know a few people in university who started it whilst being in a relationship, all but two have now split up with their ex boyfriends and are hooking up with boys all over the place. It's what students are like.
Everybody wants to be able to get the chance to sleep around when in university, most people only go to university for this but some take it a step too far in some ways. I can understand why people want to sleep around, it's the feel of excitement and the thrills they get when doing so, knowing they can have a man underneath (or on top) of them any night they wish. I've never had this thrill because I don't believe in becoming a slut because "I know that I can".
But others do this within the first term of their first year, and when they have done it they decide it isn't for them. They may begin to wish that they had never broken up with their partner, or they may decide it's time to find somebody else and settle down with them, maybe somebody from university.
But is that wise?
Personally I believe that it is not. Just because you decide to dump somebody and shag everything that moves in your first term just to get it out of your system, doesn't mean you can then think "Oh I made a mistake" and try to run back to that ex. You ended it so you must get over it. But then jumping into a relationship with somebody in the same university that you've only known for a few months is a little bit pathetic too don't you think? I mean come on, you see them for three months, then you go home and don't see them for three weeks, you see them for another three months, go home for three weeks, you see them for two-three months and then spend the whole summer thinking "Oh my god the distance is just too much". But you decide to ignore it as you visit once or twice and then you're back at university together.
What happens after university? Do you move to the same town, do you move back to your individual homes like before? What do you do? You don't know do you?
Whereas take me for example. I came to university single, I know I was going to want to explore and get some thrills and therefore I stayed single for months before university. When I came. I kissed a few lads and had a fumble with some of them. But I never slept with them, because I have respect for myself. When I went home for Christmas I started dating somebody I had dated once or twice before going to university, we got along and eventually we then got into a relationship. Since being back at university we've drifted slightly, not due to any of us, simply because with the work load and the busy days it's hard for us both to text all the time or call every day. Granted we do speak a lot when we do get the chance, and we do send the odd texts here or there throughout the days and this is what makes our relationship work. This along with trust for one another.
I'm now happy in my relationship, I don't feel the need to call him every ten seconds or text him when I feel I have to. We speak when we want to or need to, we plan to see eachother, for example he's coming to visit me at university on Valentines Day and then we'll be seeing eachother when we both get home at the end of March. It's not awkward and it isn't difficult either. We get along great and even with the distance between we both hold on to the fact that we'll be in the same country in no time for three weeks. And then we'll be able to do the same thing again after Easter. Because we both know that when we get back at the end of April / beginning of May we will see eachother for a good few months before September comes around and we have to go back to university.
This is what makes us stronger. We didn't get into a relationship before we both went to/went back to university and that helped the relationship when we did decide to get together.
What I'm saying is, going to university in a relationship may seem like a great idea to begin with but it will always end the same as it does for everybody else. Give it time, go single, get the wild shinnanigans out of the way in your first term or first year and that way when you do find a relationship, whether it be with somebody from back home or from university. Just make sure though that it is the right decision.
There is nothing worse than making the wrong decision...So think wisely and cautiously.
Until my next post
Good Luck and Happy Holidays
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